I Alone Am Responsible for My Actions

Repeat that. “I alone am responsible for my actions.” One of you I know personally would say “Right,” then go on acting as if she were responsible for everyone in her life. It wouldn’t be a matter of her lying, or even deluding herself; it’s a disconnect between what she knows and what she feels. We come into this life knowing everything, yet we are astonished when infants smile at us (gas? Nope!) or when we read of child geniuses like Beethoven or Einstein (who didn’t just “spring genius” when they were adults). And yet … we are never ever surprised when the same young person or infant exhibits feeling. A baby crying or laughing is the most normal thing to us, and some would say a baby climbing up on a cabinet to get a forbidden cookie was normal too…a sign of original sin maybe, but normal.

Of course there is no original sin; there is no “sin” against God, ever. God loves us and is part of us and we are part of Her, so we can do no “wrong”, or God would be doing wrong also.

So what do I mean about being responsible for me? It is almost a reverse statement, for what it really means is

“I am not responsible for anyone else’s actions, ever.”

This lady I have spoken of has one son; this son has grown up, experiencing some normal life situations, and some not so “normal.” At this time he is married, with children, and despite a tendency to complain too much, is very happy. He has known from birth he was loved without reservation, expectation or requirement. He has only recently come to realize he is responsible for his actions, alone. A second son believed the same when young and is a hateful loner with no contact with anyone, yet makes tons of money. Another I know grew up believing he was loved with reservation, given expectations and requirements, and is deliriously happy. A fourth son also had a difficult childhood, and is now in prison for striking back when being beaten by his spouse. What’s the difference between the four sons?

They are the difference. Not the parents. Not the upbringing.

Someone once told me our children pick us as parents before they come into the mother’s womb, in order to experience us and to learn from and teach lessons to us too. We all have free will. That means you are free to be whatever kind of human you want to be – you can be the child who never grew up; you can be the one who held in anger at what negativity real or imagined you experienced, or who struck out in anger at your parents for what you think they did or did not do for you; or you can wake up and realize you are responsible for what you do, and not for what your parents or even your children do.

If you realize all of this right in the middle of a big emotional blow up in your lives, what do you do then? Start. Start to be responsible. Explain to the other that they are responsible for themselves, only. It will take time. It will work. It will take time, though, for you have been in the habit of thinking one way and it can be that way no longer. God is watching us. God wants the sleeper to awaken.

The best part is that the journey to being responsible for yourself only is a very very happy one. Once you accept it, and once you accept yourself with all your so-called faults, you will feel pounds lighter, and your mouth will curve upward into a smile – a smile God wants you to have, all ways, and always. And He will smile back.